Valentine
by Two Guns and a Knife
Summary: A multi-chapter story. The answers to 2 different writing challenges. Babe HEA. No theme song needed. And, Cupcakes, you really really don't have to read this.
1. Just Another Day In July

**Just Another Day In July**

**~A Valentine Writing Challenge~**

"You're like the Yoda of superheroes. Getting you on the phone was harder than getting into college."

She wasn't joking. She was being upset. She was feeling cranky. She was not exactly angry. She hated her life and her life hated her back. And yep, she knew he had done nothing wrong. She just needed to yell. Once again she was the little girl who'd dropped her caramel apple while riding the Ferris Wheel. Once again she was the little girl who'd so desperately wanted to take a monstrous bite of the cotton candy in her sister's hand. She always got what she wanted. She never got what she really wanted. Her life was all tangled up. Every day she woke up finding a new way to mess things up. She fiercely blinked and swallowed back the burning tears. She was this close to falling apart and breaking down. She was this close to saying something she would regret for the rest of her life. She was never strong. She had always been a coward. Right now, at this very moment, she couldn't stop resenting herself. _What's so wrong with you, Stephanie Plum? _

"Say something." She demanded. _I'd rather fight with you than make love with anyone else. _His silence was killing her. With a shaky hand she covered her mouth. _The hardest thing is loving someone and then having the courage to let them love you back. But what's love but a second hand emotion? Everything is vanity under the sun. __"_Cat got your tongue?"

She burst into tears. The silence dragged on. The wedding date was set, and she had no escape. She had been forced to quit her job and tomorrow she would have to move out of her apartment. She was carrying Morelli's child.

It had been a mistake.

She was going to spend the rest of her life in regrets.

And yet she had no courage to speak up for herself.

She was a mother now.

Whether she liked it or not.

The guilt.

The pain.

The scorching hopelessness.

The icy frustration.

And all she got was Ranger's voicemail.

He'd been in the wind for quite a while and she'd started doubting if he would ever come back.

She was going to get married on Halloween. She would be surrounded by the scents of apples and cinnamon. She would be kept captive in the Land of Beautiful Bubbles. Her smile would be sweet and soft. Her lies would be colorful. So colorful that she would want to die. So colorful that she would slowly die inside. And nobody would know. She had no one to tell.

"Please." She whispered into the phone.

Still there was no answer.

Despair swallowed her.


	2. Queen of May

**Queen of May**

In the dim light of her small bedroom she started to pray. But when she opened her eyes and looked around, the world remained the same. She placed her hand on her belly. It was still too early to feel the baby. There was no way to reverse the fact. This little life. This drastic change. One night. That night. And now her hands were tied. She wanted to puke her soul out. _Thou shalt not kill_. Yet she had already killed more than once. Whose fault was it, then? She wasn't sure.

She sat there on her bed. She didn't make a sound. Soon tomorrow would come. And she was going to miss her ugly bathroom. She was going to miss her wobbly coffee table. She was going to miss her tiny bare kitchen. She was going to miss the view of the parking lot. She wouldn't have any freedom of her own. "_Stephanie! You must think about the baby!" "__Stephanie! You have to _think about your future!" "Stephanie! Don't you want to be happy?" _"Stephanie! What about Joe?"_

All her friends. All her relatives. All her neighbors. All the bystanders. All the strangers. Dad. Val. Grandma. Mary Lou. Eddie. Carl. Mother. _There is no God. There is no Heaven. There are no angels. But Hell and demons,_ she gave a soft low laugh, _they are real_. Starting tomorrow she would share the same bed with Joe. She had been stalling but sooner or late sex would be inevitable. She would give in to his wishes. She would smile pleasantly at his mother, aunts, and crazy Grandma. She, too, would become a Morelli. She would give birth to a couple more little Morellis. She would melt. She would to be mingled. She would become a part of this happy big family. She would be buried in the family plot. She would be just another Mrs. Morelli. Unless...Unless...Unless...

She closed her eyes. She fell asleep. She slowly woke up when Joe whistled a happy tune and let himself in: "Rise and shine, Cupcake. It's Moving Day!" Bright morning light stung her eyes. Unexpected coldness of the room dazzled her. She struggled and stood up. Joe's smiling 5-o'clock-shadowed face came into her vision and she bit back the sudden resentment. It was barely 8 in the morning. Most of her things had been packed and she felt caged. Soon she would become a declawed cat. Everyone would be happy and the furniture would remain intact. She would quietly, obediently, dutifully suffer the forever pain. It was her fate. It was her destiny. She evaded Joe's kiss and tried her best to smile.

Her phone rung. She recognized the ringtone. She dared not look at her ringing phone. She dared not think of fleeing to a far away unfamiliar city. She didn't have enough money. She didn't know how she was going to make a living. Where could she stay? Whom could she trust? How was she going to cover her medical bills? What if she had no idea how to take care of the baby? She had too many questions. She didn't even have a damn answer. What if Joe found her? What if her mother came and knocked on her door? And what if Ranger called and said: "If I said I was madly in love with you you'd know I was lying"? Would she have the courage to say the same thing to Joe? Would she have the courage to just pack and leave? Would she hear the sound of her heart breaking into tiny little pieces? It's better to play safe. Or is it? She stared at Joe Morelli. The day she'd found that she was pregnant. The day she'd realized she'd never really loved him. Not enough, apparently.

Her phone kept ringing.

Time froze.

She didn't even feel the bleeding.


	3. Gypsies, Tramps And Thieves

**Gypsies, Tramps And Thieves**

The look in her eyes broke his heart.

At the exact moment he suddenly understood. Everything. Anything. Something. And he didn't know how to react to this painful knowledge. So she hadn't been happy. So she hadn't been excited. Still she'd played along. Yeah, that was typical Stephanie. He wanted to cry. He wanted to laugh. Did he know what love means? Did she? The death of his unborn child changed everything. Now the beautiful dream had been busted. He didn't have the heart nor the courage to stay and give it another try. There wouldn't be a wedding this Halloween. It was time to put an end to everything. He, too, had been a coward. And she didn't even say "I am sorry".

She stared up at the ceiling, images and scenes of her life flying by slowly. The looming presence of the familiar guilt. The heavy weight of her usual anxiety. The notorious indecision. The urge to deny. Her unborn child was dead and she was trying hard not to smile. She felt sad and strangely relieved. "Now What?" She wanted to ask. New job? New goal? New living arrangements. One look at Joe's face and she saw it all. But nope, she couldn't say she was sorry. To the child, yes, but not to Joe, or his and her families. It was, after all, her life. Her womb. Her body. She would light a candle and pray for her baby. She didn't owe anyone anything. Ah, she always knew she was stubborn. So stubborn. Too stubborn for her own good.

Without another word Joe Morelli stood up from the cheap plastic chair and left.

Stephanie Plum was left alone to face all the consequences.

But that was okay. She placed a pale steady hand on her now empty belly. She would remember this heart-rending shame and pain till eternity. She closed her eyes. She didn't fall asleep. The doctor wanted to keep her here a little longer and the nurses were all nice and friendly. The scents and sounds of the hospital were eerily soothing. She turned her head and almost smiled when Ranger came in silently.

"You are not a terrible person." He said.

She broke into tears.


	4. Under The Sea

**Under The Sea**

******~A Writing Challenge ****Based On A Song*~**

In her dream she was a mermaid. The sky was moonless and the ocean was grey. She wanted to sing a song but her voice was gone. Emptiness choked her. The silent waves sounded too much like weeping. She woke up, her heart beating a little too fast. The serenity of the spacious room calmed her down. She tried to remember the song. She liked the lyrics. She wasn't a big fan of the singer's voice. It was almost half past 3. The bed beside her was empty. Ranger had gone back to wherever he'd returned from. Yeah, she'd moved in with him. Temporarily. For the time being. Val had offered to take care of Rex. Her parents had taken care of everything. Cancellation. Refund. Confused friends. Curious relatives. Et cetera. All of a sudden she longed for a cat. One that looked like their old family cat. One that purred like a motor and had a very sweet temperament. One that was good at listening. One that was soft, fluffy, and warm. One that could make her laugh and help her forget. She'd thrown away a lot of stuff. She'd let go of a lot of things. She would get her old job back. She would find a new apartment. Life would start anew. Things would return to normal. And she would cope with the changes. Hopefully.

Bella Morelli had, according to the rumours, once again put the Eye on her. Everywhere she went people stared, whispered, or softly laughed. But for once she didn't care. She was glad Joe hadn't bought her an engagement ring. Halloween was near. This year she would enjoy the usual family dinner and raise her glass in memory of Grandpa Mazur. She would wolf down the pumpkin pie. She would offer to help with the dishes. She would hug her mother a little bit tighter and let go a little bit later. Shouldn't she feel guilty for being this happy? Shouldn't she go to penance? But what was she going to say after "Father, I have sinned"?

She turned on the bedside light. She got out of bed and took a shower. She got dressed and went down to the 5th floor office. She waved at the night shift crew. She sat down at the familiar desk and started running search programs. She did her best to remain focused. She couldn't sleep. It was the coldest autumn in her memory. Several team of men returned from their patrols. Someone gave her a smile. Someone gave her a hot cup of coffee. Someone gave her a still warm sandwich. Tank showed her the pictures of his newest rescued kitty. She opened the drawer looking for something. She widened her eyes. She couldn't help grinning.

Ranger had left her a bar of organic black chocolate.

***_Changes_ by Phil Ochs **


	5. East of Eden

**East of Eden **

She blows warm air into her hands. Quietly Lula shivers by her side. They hide behind the corner of the building and keep waiting. Her newest skip will show up any minute. Hopefully he will listen to reason. Hopefully he's smart enough to cooperate. Should he decide to run or put up a fight, Lula has lost 2 pounds in the past few months and is in the mood to punch someone; she already has plans for the hard-earned money and she has this state-of-the-art fully-charged taser in her shoulder bag. They both love peace but sometimes violence, sadly, is the only answer. Resistance shall be futile. And the guy did break the law.

Will winter ever go away? She's tired of the snow and the chilling coldness. She ran into Joe yesterday. He stared at her for a moment. He didn't smile. He didn't nod. They had nothing to say, to share, or to remember. He grabbed his pizza and walked away. Their grandmothers had a fight in the church. People laughed about it for weeks. He hasn't started dating again and she's still staying with Ranger. Yep, it's complicated. She's still in love with a man who's not keen on relationships and spring is nowhere in sight. Sometimes she wakes up confused. Sometimes she has the strangest dreams. A part of her wants another child. A part of her wants everything to remain the same. She has no idea what Ranger wants. And she doesn't have the courage to find out—

Lula elbows her in the ribs. She lets out a groan. The thin mousy man turns his head, spots them, and immediately bolts. They chase him down the street. People turn to stare. Her lungs are about to burst. Lula yells something. The man runs faster. Suddenly, the traffic lights change. The man trips, falters, stumbles, and falls. Lula jumps into the air and lands hard on him. The poor man can't even manage to scream. She stops, doubles over, and burst out laughing so hard that tears run down her face.

"Geez, are you okay?"

Lula places a cautious hand on her back, and right at that moment she stops resenting herself. Love. Life. Regrets. All the past mistakes. She finally stops laughing and gives Lula a hug.

"Thank you." She hugs her loyal friend tight. "Thank you."

Almost awkwardly Lula hugs her back as sirens sound from afar.

And that night, for the first time in many many many months, she makes love with the man she truly loves.

**~The End~ **


End file.
